Category Archives: Band-Building

A YEAR OF WEIRD EXPERIMENTS IN BAND MARKETING: The Best Articles On Band Marketing And Software Reviews From The Past Year

Posted on by
Reply

A lot of bad shit has happened to The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad in the past year. For starters, our biggest fan got locked up for attempted murder and will probably never see the light of day again. Then Captain Mediocrity, our hype-man and co-founding member, took an indefinite hiatus from the band to follow his dream of becoming a lead maple-syrup producer in Canada. Finally, we were heckled by some crazy-ass dude at a children’s museum on New Years Eve! Seriously?! That one still burns my ass…

But one thing we can be happy about is the growth of Weird Experiments In Band Marketing. Over the past 12 months we’ve seen our readership increase and comments become more humane and thoughtful. We even received some love from top recording-software companies who were willing to give us their ‘warez in exchange for a FluteSquad.com full-on double-rainbow review.

It’s been an unpredictable ride, but we like the results so far. We feel like we’ve come into our own and are going to continue churning out thought-provoking posts on band marketing and super-technical software reviews.

If you have been lurking around this site for a while do us a favor and subscribe to this blog. I can promise you that it will stay updated at least once a week. If you are a new reader of FluteSquad.com, here’s a half-dozen great posts that were published over the past year:

Why Are Bands So Broke ALL THE TIME? – A quick primer on what to do with your band’s money. Sounds lame, I know. But I give out this advice so often that I had to write a post just to point people to it when they ask me.

Your Big Amp is Annoying: THERE IS NO FUCKING ‘I’ IN ‘BAND’!! YARRRRRRRG! - How you can perform better by turning down your stupid over-sized amp and working with your band. The post is good, but the comments are priceless!

The Mild Facebook Stalking Technique For Bands At Conferences - How to use video and Facebook to gain leads and new fans at conferences. This post features a video that was shown during Derek Sivers keynote at SxSW 2010.

The Hottest Ass Contest: Creating A Mini-Event At A Music Conference - The Mild Facebook Stalking Technique® in action! How we created lasting impresssions by creating a contest on the fly. We actually found our new agent this way.

Your Big Amp is Annoying: Why Our Live Setup is 75% Less Girthy Than Most Bands – Comprehensive post on how to sound great live while keeping your setup small and easy to manage.

Software Review: Steven Slate FG-X Virtual Mastering Processor – Possibly our most popular post. A comprehensive review of Steven Slate’s amazing FG-X Mastering Processor. This program made us eat our words on the loudness wars debate.

Your Band Is On A Broken Down Bus In The Desert. Have A Good Time!

Posted on by
1

Look at this picture and you tell me who is having fun:

Outside of this bus we are all losers.

We were getting carted away from paradise and back to the Las Vegas McCarran Airport. This picture was taken just after filming the pilot episode of The Next Great American Band in 2007.  The bus overheated, in the middle of the desert, and we had to wait for an hour before a new bus could come along to pick us up. Hot, sweaty, hungry, unshowered, and told that our band didn’t have the creativity or mass appeal to succeed, we were expected to stand around quietly in the desert for at least an hour.

The band on the left (I now forget their name) was totally bummed about how things turned out. They performed their audition for judges Sheila E, Johnny Rzeznick, and Ian “Dicko” Dickson and, in turn, were ridiculed in front of an entire camera crew, and tons of other competing bands, and possibly the entire TV-watching nation.  I seem to remember them telling us that they were going to call it quits. It seemed like such an unnecessary reaction.

The band on the right, The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad, did the exact same thing. We played our crazy music in the scorching desert sun, hammed it up for the cameras, took orders from nutty self-important production assistants, and were ridiculed by the judges.  Our reaction, on the other hand, was definitely not the same. We knew that being flown out to a Las Vegas resort for a long weekend on a national broadcast corporation’s dime was a rare and unique experience, and we decided to have a fucking blast no matter what happened.  So we laughed along with (and at) the judges, got a free 50 pack of Cheetos, made some great connections with other bands, spent a day gambling and sipping drinks poolside, and immediately started thinking of ways to scam similar large entities into giving us free trips to exotic resorts.

So next time your band gets the disappointment of a lifetime, considers calling it quits, and is stuck out in the hot desert sun with no water or bathroom for at least 25 miles, ask yourself: Why The Fuck Are We In A Band, Anyway?

If your answer is to make boatloads of cash while hanging out in comfortable mansions with tons of celebrities who tell you that you are a deeply impacting and meaningful artist, you should probably give up now.  The chances of that shit happening are next to none, and you’ll just be constantly disappointed.  But if you’re in it to play good music, have fun, hang out with friends, and have new and interesting life experiences, you won’t mind it so much when the figurative bus breaks down in the desert every once in a while.

(To his credit, “Some Dude” in the pic above was having a pretty good time with us too. He’s in Band LeGrand now.)

Don’t Be A Dick! (Ask a friend to be a dick if needed.)

Posted on by
1

In between sets at this college party, I’m sitting at this kitchen bar waiting for the keg line to die down. We’re not getting paid for this gig, so I have my email list out. At the mere mention of someone telling me they enjoyed our set, I tell them to write down their email. At one point I just told some kid to give me his email address. He had no idea who I was or why I wanted it, he hadn’t been there for the first set. But he shrugged his shoulders and grabbed my pen.

I look across the room where two girls I’ve dubbed “The Chemical Sisters” have decided to use my PA to blare club music through their laptops and act like they’re really doing something amazing. To my chagrin this tall hippie dude, who reminds me of the lead singer of the Spin Doctors has taken my mic off its stand to scream/sing/rap into it. The volume in the mic channel is way low, so its hard to hear him, but he’s definitely in the mix. I hope he will get tired of this game but he doesn’t.

My friend Rosscoe comes over to ask me something, and I half-jokingly say “Look at this fucking guy, this shit ain’t karaoke. Rosscoe, go tell that guy to take his fucking hands off my mic.”

Excited at the mission he proclaims “Okay!” and hightails it over there.

I sit back amused as I watch Rosscoe, who is significantly shorter than Mic-Kid, dominate the situation. Mic-Kid is reluctant, but Rosscoe calmly grabs the mic from him, and with a few hand gestures somehow backs him down while gracefully placing the mic back on the stand. I was stunned that he was able to stifle Mic-Kid so easily. Rosscoe leaves and I see Mic-Kid standing there, sort of dancing. I keep expecting him to grab the mic again, but he just doesn’t.

About 20 minutes later, I wander over to the PA to tell The Chemical Sisters to turn down their laptops so we can play some goddamn music. Before I can get to them, Mic Kid approaches me “Is this your PA equipment?” I say,”Yeah.”

“Did you tell some guy to tell me not to touch the mics?”

“Yeah”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to be a dick so I got someone else to be a dick.”

“Oh. Okay man its cool. It’s you’re stuff. I just wanted to know if that kid was being a dick on his own.”

“No I told him to.”

“No problem man, sorry for fucking with the mics.”

“No problem, thanks for coming out.”

As we play our second set, I see Mic-Kid bopping up and down to our tuned-up version of Phil Collins “Another Day In Paradise.”

***

I only say this because while checking someone may be necessary at certain points in your live entertainment career it’s important to note your role as “the entertainment.” Anything you personally do to bring the energy down for an individual is branding your band negatively in that person’s eyes. This includes ignoring people at shows and paying attention to your iPhone instead.

Please note that this can be a passive gesture. Paying attention to your Blackberry instead of speaking to someone who’s wandering around your merch table can be sort of a bummer for that fan too.

3 Bands + 1 Conference = ? Gigs

Posted on by
Reply

This Friday and Saturday, Ryan and I (Nikc) are going to haul our asses up to Lancaster, PA to showcase our 3 amazing bands.  This is definitely worth a follow-up post because I have no idea what to expect.

NACA is the National Association of College Activities. The idea is that all of the big campus events in the Mid-Atlantic region are booked through this event. We were turned down to showcase our band, so we won’t be playing. However we will have a table/booth sort of thing where we will be able to meet the college reps and tell them about our bands.

To get ready for our booth, a lot of shit that should have been taken care of had to be taken care of rather quickly. I’m talking photos, videos, and postcards; three things that I will have to go into more depth about after the conference. But for now check out some of our collateral that Ryan put together for us:

The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad

In general, DMFS has been around the longest, has the most press, and the most pictures. But we’ve had many personnel changes, and to be honest our look and sound has come along way.

Updating our photos and postcard are things that have been lingering on the backburner, while shows and a new album have taken the forefront of our attention. The new marketing material hints a bit at the look and feel of our upcoming album.

The video features some interview footage taken from a short documentary about the band circa 2006, and some recent concert footage including a recent in-studio performance at WTMD in Towson, MD. It’s great to have friends that will take good video and audio of your shows.

Our hope for DMFS is to obtain some college festival shows, opening for much bigger bands like the Black Eyed Peas, or whatever the hell the kids like these days.

Wild Bonerz

Wild Bonerz was formed by Steve and I about a year ago. In a nutshell we’re a cover band that performs Top 40 hits from the 70s, 80s, and 90s transposed into old-timey bluegrass form.

Prior to about a week ago, we had zero marketing collateral. This is where doing your homework pays off, because instead of relaxing we basically had to manufacture our look and theme on the spot, and then con Ryan into shooting and editing a nice video for us.

Through NACA and in general, we are looking to circumvent club shows and book Wild Bonerz into some two-hour dinner or happy hour gigs. My hopes are high with this one because frankly people love covers, especially if there’s a banjo involved.

We look fucking creepy in our video, and sort of like the ghosts in the haunted mansion at Disney World. I love it.

The Hilltop Hightops

College girls are cute, and lets face it: one day, after they finish grad school, they may decide to have a kid or two.

Ok. That’s not necessarily a good reason why The Hilltop Hightops will gain a whole list of tour stops at colleges. But maybe since colleges and universities also double as community centers, we will be able to nab some holiday family-friendly festivals.

This one was easy because we did our homework and created all of our marketing material when we launched the band(!) earlier this year.

From what I hear, most gigs are booked after the actual conference. I’m guessing we should have a pretty good feel on whether it was a worthwhile venture by Sunday. In either case, I’ll be posting some pictures of us “doing our thang.” In costume, of course.

***

If you like this article check this one out:

What The Hell Is This? – An overview of who The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad is and why we started this blog.

Starting A Band Without Knowing What You’re Doing – One man’s plan to start a band without a plan.

STARTING A BAND: The “It Just Happened” Plan

Posted on by
Reply
In the beginning of The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad I didn’t know what the hell I wanted to do. I was just recording songs, things kind of happened. There are many ways to start a band, and eventually I will write more about some different approaches, but here is one awesome scenario:

The Lone-Songwriter-Without-A-Plan Plan

Nikc & Steve playing as ‘Wild Bonerz’ in Baltimore circa 2009

Much like actively pursuing this approach in real life, this is less of plan than a laundry list of observations of things that I either did or wish I did correctly:

  • Give Your Music Away

The way my band started was simple.

  1. I crudely recorded a 6-song CD-R called “Songs About Rabbits”
  2. I gave this CD-R to just about everyone I met

I wasn’t even playing out at all, in fact I was terrified of performing. Before too long, some new friends of mine told me I had to start playing out and that they would help me. So we practiced and practiced. Then an amazing thing happened. New people started showing up to the rehearsals and the band became “a thing.” The lesson here is that giving my songs away not only gained me fans early on, but actually got my band started.

  • Don’t Play Live Until You Have Merch

One of the major things I’ll be pointing out here again and again is this:

If You Don’t Have Merch, You Don’t Exist.

Time and time again I see tons of bands playing out for the fun of it. They eventually fall apart and no one can remember their name. It’s like they never happened.
Before you start playing out, have something to offer your fans. It could be a full album or a sticker. No matter how awesome you are if you have nothing to physically give your fans then they will forget about you almost instantly.

  •  Fail Cheap

One of my favorite bloggers Charlie Hoehn wrote about the virtue of “failing cheap.” Simply put, it means that you don’t have to throw a whole lot of money into starting a new venture.
Shitfever Album Cover
When I recorded my first full-length album, I put the (burned) CD-R in a brown paper bag and colored the name on with crayons. Of course, this didn’t look as good as a nicely packaged and shrink-wrapped CD but people always noted how unique the packaging was. Plus, it was easy for people to open and listen to. In a sea of free indie music, the outlier always gets the listen. Just make sure it’s easy to open.

  • Sure having merch is great but Don’t Over-Do It

Don’t make six albums and give them out to everyone at the same time. This is not generous. In fact it’s anti-generousity and I’ve done it a bunch.

Like almost everything you will do in promoting your band, you should think of this transaction from the listener’s perspective. Getting something free to listen to is nice. It gives people a warm fuzzy feeling. However, getting 10 free things to listen to is a FREAKING JOB that no one wants to do.

Instead of listening to one or two of your ten FREE albums the whole package will end up in the back of someone’s car. Leave your other material behind. Figure out one item that is worth promoting, and promote the hell out of it.

***

If you like this article check this one out:

What The Hell Is This? – An overview of who The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad is and why we started this blog.

What the hell is this?

Posted on by
1

Here Is An Attempt At An Owner’s Manual For A Band

If you are a major band that is making a living off of your music then skip right over our weak sauce. Your homework is done.

But if you are…

a.) Thinking about starting a band

b.) In a band that is seemingly going nowhere

c.) About to record your first album

…then you might want to check this out.

I’m not really gonna bore you with details about our history or the merch we have for sale. But I do want to tell you about the stuff we have done, the places we’ve been, and the hare-brained schemes we’ve conducted.

‘Why Write? You’re Musicians! Musicians Can’t Write?!’

Well, being an active band for five years and a recording band for seven. We’ve run the gamut of opportunity. We’ve met some shady characters, some great fans, tons of great aspiring bands on the road and off. The problem is no one ever seems to get anywhere. Bands fall apart. Fans appear, reappear and disappear again. We had this idea to start documenting some of our experiences, major failures and some wins so that you could copy our successes and skip over the pitfalls.

Here Are Some Of The Features We Have Planned

  • Do’s and Don’t's For Band Marketing
  • Recording Advice and Tutorials
  • Technical notes about the venues we’ve played at
  • Advice on creating interesting marketing tools for your band (like stickers, shirts, and yes..video games)
  • And more! (For real, because this is a work in progress)

‘What Gives You The Right?’

Look, I know what you’re thinking: “These guys think they’re pretty hot shit”

Well, yeah, but not really. As time goes on you will read about the things we’ve done, and hopefully you will far surpass us and never want to read this blog again. I mean that.

Don’t believe me? Well we can talk about it.