VENUE REVIEW: Sonar

As a reference to touring bands we are attempting to create a library of reviews of the venues we have played. Most of these venues are in and around the Baltimore area. We attempt to review the venues from the perspective of a performing band (sound, environment, staff, money situation, etc.) For more specific information CONTACT US

Sonar reviewed by Nikc Miller

407 East Saratoga Street
Baltimore, MD 21202
sonarbaltimore.com

We were a pretty young band when playing at Sonar seemed like a big break. None of us knew much about the club, so when we walked in, and saw all three stages, it even felt like a big deal. They stuck us in the lounge area, which is still pretty impressive in terms of size and scope. So it’s important to say that if you’re planning on playing Sonar and don’t have a decent plan to get people in the door, don’t be surprised when the floor at the club looks pretty empty if you don’t produce a decent turnout. The place is built out of a warehouse, it’s freakin huge.

DMFS at Sonar – December 6, 2006

A lot of “What the…” moments happened to us for the first time at Sonar:

  1. They set the door price at $10. It was a Wednesday night. There were no other events happening in the entire club that night.
  2. They gave us tickets to sell. I wouldn’t expect Ticketmaster to write and record an album, so I’m not sure why it’s expected of bands to sell tickets. I am fundamentally against selling tickets to my own show, but I didn’t know this at the time.
  3. After setting up and getting there super early (1-2 hours before) we set up our equipment, soundchecked and relaxed. Sometime passed after the show was actually supposed to begin and the sound guy was mysteriously missing. Soon after, we were told to “hit the stage.”
  4. At one point in our set we hear in our monitor: “One more song guys.” A not-so-gracious heads-up. Come on, give us two maybe three more songs to wrap this bullshit up!
  5. At the end of the night, I asked the door lady, “So did we make any money tonight?” Her: “No the club actually LOST alot of money tonight”

Alot of my gripes with Sonar was with the money situation. If a club is worried about making their nut, then for the life of me I can’t figure out why they will hire three security guards/doormen for a Wednesday night concert featuring local rock bands. Charging $10 at the door for the same type of show seems counter-intuitive as well.

With that being said, the sound was good both on and off the stage. And we managed to entertain a few of our friends.  The drink policy was less than gracious towards the bands. I think it was something like two drinks per band. But what made it worse was that there were absolutely no drink specials that night, making Horsepower the wise one for bring his own Shiner Bock.

Sonar does a lot of things right: sub-mainstream rock shows, club DJ shows, even mainstream hiphop shows. So the point of this review is not necessarily to bash Sonar but rather to warn small bands. If you’re playing a BIG club, you’re not going to automatically turn into a BIG band. You’re just gonna look like a BIG asshole when you go ask for money at the end of the night. Make sure the show you’re putting on makes sense to the place where you are putting it on.

(Note: Sonar now includes The Talking Head Club as part of their venue which was not the case when we played this club. The Talking Head Club is meant strictly for smaller, local, and subversive music.)

***

If you like this article, check out:

Venue Review: FletchersWhere we openly bash one of the shittiest, now defunct, clubs Baltimore has ever known.

Venue Review: The Windup SpaceWhere we praise (and secretly wish to play again) one of Station North’s best multipurpose spaces.

Venue Review: Charm City Art Space - Some “REAL TALK” on Baltimore’s own longest running DIY space.

Reflections on Q1

At the beginning of the year I posed some pretty gawdy goals on this blog. The thing about goals is that they shift as situations change.

Let’s check in and see how we’re doing:

1. Obtain $10,000 in revenue for all three bands

The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad has been in the studio almost exclusively. We’ve managed to play 2 shows so far this year. These shows were both stellar (I don’t just say this about every show). We made $160 from both shows combined. These shows turned into promotional parties and we spent at least that amount of money to put them on (we give away and buy alot of shit for our fans, at this point I wouldn’t have it any other way.) So in ACTUAL revenue we gained nothing.

Wild Bonerz
has managed to lock down $1500 in gigs so far. We’re super proud of this progression and have really worked out a really sweet 90 minute(+) set. We’ve revamped our description from “Bluegrass covers of pop songs” to “Old-timey cover barons.” The brand shift from bluegrass to old-timey is much more apt  Our(sub)goal for Wild Bonerz is to lock down a venue or an area of town as a recurring gig.

The Hilltop Hightops is on a brief hiatus. You can still buy our AWESOME album though. Super Galactic Space Banana will teach your kids a number of things about space, history, science, and math. But probably the best lesson it teaches is how to ROCK!(!!!!!!!!!!)

2. Finish and release The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad’s Bone Slinky!

As I mentioned, we’ve been in the studio a whole lot recently. It has taken alot of time away from the usual fucking around that we do on a daily basis. The results have been, well how can I put it, XAN-tastic! (scroll all the way down for the reference).


3. Create 30 posts specific to goal-setting for bands on this site

We are well on our way to achieving this with two minor tweaks:

a.) This site will be updated every Tuesday NO MATTER WHAT! On my calculator, that reads to be at least 52 posts a year. Periodically there will/should be additional posts, but the Tuesday post is one that you can set your watch to.

b.) Posts won’t be limited to goal-setting. I realized I don’t want to be obligated to talk about goal-setting all the time and that there are better and more helpful uses for this blog.

4. Obtain an official endorsement from Party City

This was my “wild card” goal for the year. I really don’t know how I am going to go about achieving this but I will try and see where it gets me.  It’s fun to try random shit sometimes. For example, we recently asked everyone from Benny Mardones to Tay Zonday to sing on our upcoming album (with hilarious results.)

I have made no progress on the Party City endorsement as of this point, but it seems like a good time to get to work on it.

5. Significantly build our mailing list

Sometime in January I realized that it was more rewarding, effective, and reasonable to believe that building our Facebook fan page was a better step than focusing on email marketing. It just makes sense for us to be able to interact WITH you, not just blast our bullshit AT you.

If you dig our music or blog, I’d love to get in touch with you via email. We will start to increasingly interact with our email community, but for now we are all over Facebook like sweat on a 7-11 hotdog.

On Going Overboard: NACA, East Stroudsburg University part 2

Aside from the promotional tactics that we utilized at NACA a few weeks ago, we decided to have a little fun and mess with our friend Scott Alexander.

Our relationship with Scott goes way back to when he was performing and living in Baltimore. Now that he is living and working in Brooklyn, we see him a whole lot less. Recently we got to see him more because we partnered with him as an agency to present at NACA (more on this partnership’s Fails and Wins in an upcoming post).  When we do see him, he never fails to remind us that we drink and goof off way too much. Based on that concept we decided to have Ryan and Curtis convince him that I had seriously gone off the deep end and that it was time to intervene.

Not only was Scott unamused, he was actually visibly upset. By the end of the weekend I caught him on video telling us about how we should be careful about Going Overboard when we get to fooling around (he meant this on a personal, as well as, professional level.)

Just a few days ago, he challenged me to talk a little bit about Going Overboard and how it can hurt your band. Instead, I’d like to put my own positive spin on this concept.
 At its most basic incarnation, Going Overboard means doing something outrageous.  When you do something outrageous and it goes horribly wrong, feelings get hurt, you lose a few fans, and you miss some opportunities. On the other side of the coin, if you try something outrageous and it works out, you look like a genius, you gain a TON of fans, and people beat down your door to get a piece of you.

Some good and bad examples of Going Overboard:

  • Radiohead went overboard when they decided to let fans pay what they wished for their new album. (This is now imitated so much that its practically protocol for indie bands trying to sell an album)
  • Kanye West went overboard when he hopped on stage to speak his mind during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech. (He looked terrible for it. She gained a ton of sympathy. The parodied scene became an Internet sensation.)
  • Barbet Schroeder went overboard when he walked into a producer’s office and threatened to cut off his own finger with a chainsaw if his movie lost financing. (He’s still directing tons of films with all ten digits firmly in place.)
  • Devin Townsend went overboard when he decided to do a stylistic 180° shift. He gave up drugs and alcohol while writing, recording, producing and releasing 4 albums in a two year span. (He is now, arguably, more popular than has ever been.)

Whether the results are positive or negative, it’s a lot riskier to go overboard. It’s not necessarily more effective than consistently reinforcing the boundaries of taste. But it is definitely more fun, creative, and rewarding. It results in getting further along with relationships than you would have by just being polite. The most intriguing thing about Going Overboard, is that it is rarely intentional or planned.  Going Overboard just sort of happens. Then things, good or bad, (finally) start to happen.

The Hottest Ass Contest: Creating A Mini-Event At A Music Conference

 A few weeks ago I gave some advice on using video and Facebook to gain some clout when following up with potential fans at a music conference. We recently employed this tactic at the NACA conference at East Stroudsburg University. But this time, instead of paying people to eat random things (like we did in Lancaster), we decided to go a different route.

Using Curtis “King” Crispin’s big brain and laser-pointer thermometer, we created a mini-event in our booth. The “Hottest Ass Contest” was born:

The execution of the contest was a 3-step method that happened in tandem. Ryan would talk people into our booth and explain our contest. Curtis would use the laser-thermometer to take the temp. All the while I would write down the info presented on each person’s badge (name and school) with their individual ass temperature. We’d leave them with a postcard and a copy of Die Humpin! and a dollar for participating.

The week that followed was hectic. We searched for everybody we talked to on Facebook and friend-requested them with a message that read like this:

Yo! Thanks for stopping by and talking to us at NACA. Also thanks for participating in our “Hot Ass” Contest. The average temp was 80.17907 degrees. You registered [their temp], so you’re right on track. We’ll have some video of the whole thing posted soon. Have a good one!

The beauty of this technique was that we didn’t have to waste time rehashing the details about our band, or worry about them not responding if they didn’t like our music. In fact, we didn’t talk about our band at all, we talked about THEM and they definitely remembered us.

Not only did most of the people we met accept our request. We got a couple of sweet messages back like this:

 

this:

and this:

Compared to the really lackluster results we got last time by doing the standard thing (emailing the attendee list that’s given to everyone who presents), this method was a smashing success.

Next week: The prank we pulled on Scott Alexander at NACA!

***

If you like this article, check out:

The Mild Facebook Stalking Technique For Bands At Conferences: A quick primer on how to use video to follow up and connect with the people you meet at conferences.

What We Learned At NACA: A few things we learned from the last stunt we pulled at NACA

A Few More Things We Learned At NACA: Some quick tips about what to bring and do while you’re at NACA

Your Band Is On A Broken Down Bus In The Desert. Have A Good Time!

Look at this picture and you tell me who is having fun:

Outside of this bus we are all losers.

We were getting carted away from paradise and back to the Las Vegas McCarran Airport. This picture was taken just after filming the pilot episode of The Next Great American Band in 2007.  The bus overheated, in the middle of the desert, and we had to wait for an hour before a new bus could come along to pick us up. Hot, sweaty, hungry, unshowered, and told that our band didn’t have the creativity or mass appeal to succeed, we were expected to stand around quietly in the desert for at least an hour.

The band on the left (I now forget their name) was totally bummed about how things turned out. They performed their audition for judges Sheila E, Johnny Rzeznick, and Ian “Dicko” Dickson and, in turn, were ridiculed in front of an entire camera crew, and tons of other competing bands, and possibly the entire TV-watching nation.  I seem to remember them telling us that they were going to call it quits. It seemed like such an unnecessary reaction.

The band on the right, The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad, did the exact same thing. We played our crazy music in the scorching desert sun, hammed it up for the cameras, took orders from nutty self-important production assistants, and were ridiculed by the judges.  Our reaction, on the other hand, was definitely not the same. We knew that being flown out to a Las Vegas resort for a long weekend on a national broadcast corporation’s dime was a rare and unique experience, and we decided to have a fucking blast no matter what happened.  So we laughed along with (and at) the judges, got a free 50 pack of Cheetos, made some great connections with other bands, spent a day gambling and sipping drinks poolside, and immediately started thinking of ways to scam similar large entities into giving us free trips to exotic resorts.

So next time your band gets the disappointment of a lifetime, considers calling it quits, and is stuck out in the hot desert sun with no water or bathroom for at least 25 miles, ask yourself: Why The Fuck Are We In A Band, Anyway?

If your answer is to make boatloads of cash while hanging out in comfortable mansions with tons of celebrities who tell you that you are a deeply impacting and meaningful artist, you should probably give up now.  The chances of that shit happening are next to none, and you’ll just be constantly disappointed.  But if you’re in it to play good music, have fun, hang out with friends, and have new and interesting life experiences, you won’t mind it so much when the figurative bus breaks down in the desert every once in a while.

(To his credit, “Some Dude” in the pic above was having a pretty good time with us too. He’s in Band LeGrand now.)

DMFS: ESCAPE – The Making of the Premiere Flute Squad Gaming Experience

This post was written by Stephen Thomas, better known as Horsepower in The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad. Download the Flute Squad video game HERE!

***

Sometime late in 2007, The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad released it’s first-ever multimedia project: DMFS: Escape, a DMFS video game. I had a blast making it, and I’m happy to have something to show for my many, many hours sitting at a computer.

Though we’re obviously not the only band to be featured in a video game (which I’ll explain about more later), as far as I can tell this is a first for any Baltimore band.

Chapter 1: STEVE LOVES VIDEO GAMES

When I was a little kid, my parents one-upped the rest of the kids in the neighbourhood. Instead of buying us the Atari 2600 (the widest-reaching console in video gaming at the time), they opted to go all-out and buy us the newest model: the Atari 5200. Every summer I was either outside riding my big wheels or later a bike, or I was inside sitting on a beanbag chair and playing video games. When my family moved to Maryland in 1985, I began collecting 8-bit Nintendo games; at its peak, I had over 180 different games in my collection.


Many years later in life, I eventually was hired to test games for a video game studio (yes, that job actually exists!). And while working for the company, I had a chance to meet game developers, designers, coders, and artists. I had also learned about the burgeoning “indie gaming scene,” and all the fledgling hobbyist developers out there making their own games.

One website in particular I had found is known as The Daily Click, so named because it was originally created to feature games made with a series of programs by a company called Clickteam. I followed The Daily Click for many years, until finally, intrigued to no end with the prospect of possibly making my own games, I bought MultiMedia Fusion 2, the latest game creation tool created by Clickteam, in the summer of 2006. Fast forward perhaps to six months later. I’d successfully created a handful of small-scale game projects, and wanted to sink my teeth into something a bit more ambitious. The guys in the band were having fun with the games I’d made; the album Die Humpin! was released earlier that year, and it seemed like we were approaching another plateau. The “DMFS-iverse” was a bizarre enough place to feature its own video game. And the rest is history.

Chapter 2: PROJECT RESEARCH

So I knew I wanted to make a game featuring the band…but what type of game could contain us? A Pac-Man clone seemed too simplistic, Q-Bert was out, a shoot-em-up didn’t really fit, and my skills weren’t up to making a full-featured role-playing game. I began looking deep into video game history to find some inspiration.

The chief inspiration for DMFS: Escape seemed almost too obvious, now that I think about it. I remembered playing a dreadful little Atari 2600 game called Journey: Escape which was a dodge-em game featuring none other than the rock band Journey. The gameplay of DMFS: Escape is an almost direct adaptation of Journey: Escape‘s system: run and dodge past obstacles, collecting money as you go.

If only in the sense of a potential video game, the parallels between Journey and DMFS were striking. One of the greatest rock bands on earth was featured in its own video game; now, one of the wackiest bands on earth would be. I announced my finds to my bandmates, and after unanimous approval, I began work on the project.

Chapter 3: DESIGN AND CODING

The greatest strength of the MultiMedia Fusion 2 toolkit is that you don’t need to know a lick of programming to come up with something half-decent. And me personally, I had a distinct lack of programming skills coupled with a vast imagination. MMF2 and I were a match made in heaven.

To explain the MMF2 development suite as clearly as possible, let me start off with a hopelessly technical statement: MMF2 is an object-oriented programming development kit that uses an intuitive combination of conditions and if-then statements. But to make it much, much more simple, imagine Super Mario Brothers, for example, and how you would make something like that work. For “World 1-1,” you start off with a plain brick platform. That’s one object. Standing on top of that object is Mario, which is another object. The little mushroom dudes are objects, as are the coins, the coin blocks, the turtles, and the turtle shells that bounce around.

An example of an if-then statement used to make the Mario object move would be “IF the player presses Right on the joystick, THEN move Mario right.” To move left, it would be the same kind of thing, only replacing “Right” with “Left” in both instances. “IF the player presses the Jump button, THEN make Mario jump upwards.”

Things can become a little more complex, too. “IF the player presses Right on the joystick, AND IF the player presses and holds the Shoot button, THEN move Mario to the Right twice as fast.” So you can combine several IF statements into a list of conditions that need to be met in order to make things happen. Here’s another one: “IF Mario is coming down from a jump, AND IF Mario’s feet land on a mushroom dude, THEN destroy the mushroom dude, AND THEN add 100 points to the player’s score.”

Using the MMF2 interface, the game maker can combine all sorts of combinations of if-then statements with the objects they include in the game. There’s also a full-featured graphics program to help you animate and draw all the objects you want. With the exception of a handful of digital photographs, DMFS: Escape has completely original graphics, all drawn and animated by me. The bottom line is that if you have the patience, even the worst self-described artist can come up with some decent results if they put a lot of energy and effort into it.

Chapter 4: FINISHING TOUCHES

Graphics and movement aren’t the only things needed for a typical video game these days; you need sound effects and background music to create an immersive, entertaining game. I was fortunate on both counts to have both resources available in abundant supply. For the sound effects, the band and I spent an evening’s worth of rehearsal recording voice clips in the home studio of our lead guitarist, Ryan Graham.

Background music was another integral aspect of the game. For that, I enlisted the help of Jeff “The Baltimore Taper” Mewbourn. He’d been following us for several years now, and had collected over two dozen recordings of live DMFS shows. After securing his permission, I used MP3s of our performances as background music for all the levels and different game screens.

Once you implement all the aspects of your game, it’s time for your testers to play the game and make sure everything works as intended. I enlisted the help of the band for suggestions and feedback in order to make the game more fun. To that end, I implemented the “KashGrab Kredits” system, which allowed the player to add on additional features to the gameplay: a photo album, a jukebox, the infamous “Next Great American Band” mode, and other special features. This adds replay value, making the game download or purchase worth additional plays due to the unlockable features and added material.

EPILOGUE

DMFS: Escape is the hard work of a dedicated coder and artist through several months, collaborators like The Baltimore Taper, dedicated testers, and one crazy band. It’s also a free download, and a great way for the player to spend the better part of an hour messing around on the computer and listening to some of our live music.

At the very least, we’ve attempted to give you the same thing we offer in our live shows: a chance to be entertained and forget about the real world, if only for a brief moment in time. I’m proud of DMFS: Escape, and learned a tremendous deal from my game-making experience. It’s only inspired me to try even more ambitious and in-depth projects today and into the future.

The Mild Facebook Stalking Technique For Bands At Conferences

As the music conference season blasts off with South by Southwest just a few weeks away, I thought I’d share a tip that Ryan and I stumbled upon at the last NACA conference we attended in Lancaster, PA.

As you can see we had a hell of a time:

The way it turned out was that I had recently bought a Flip Mino HD camera and was using it to shoot, well, everything. When we returned, we got the bright idea to cut this video together post it on Facebook and tag some of the folks we met on the video. These people turned into Facebook friends, and then eventually Facebook fans. Had we planned the whole thing out we probably could have maximized this technique to gain at least 100 fans for Facebook.

The moral of the story: Most people will be curious to see themselves in your video. Compared to a standard email, it is so much more effective as a context-building tool. As long as the video is decent and not exploitive, they probably won’t get pissed at you for tagging them.

By the way, I created this video for Derek Sivers’ presentation at South by Southwest, which I highly recommend contributing to if you are a musician. Hopefully he will be teaching people our little trick of being mildly obtrusive using video and Facebook!

VENUE REVIEW: Fletcher’s (Dead Venue)

As a reference to touring bands we are attempting to create a library of reviews of the venues we have played. Most of these venues are in and around the Baltimore area. We attempt to review the venues from the perspective of a performing band (sound, environment, staff, money situation, etc.) For more specific information CONTACT US

Fletcher‘s reviewed by Nikc Miller

701 South Bond Street
Baltimore, MD 21231-3304
www.myspace.com/fletchersbar

*currently defunct*

Fletcher’s is one of the city clubs that has a bloated ego because it booked nationally touring acts back in the day, but is currently dying a slow, painful, and laughable death. (UPDATE: This post was written months ago, and alas FLETCHER’S IS DEAD)

We’ve played here on numerous occasions, usually paired with some sort of “event” like 98 Rock’s Noise In The Basement or the lame Baltimore Music Conference. While there are many stories to tell about those event shows, I’ll save them and just talk about the venue.

Besides the fact that the sound and the actual size of the venue are actually really nice compared to most Baltimore venues, Fletcher’s is pretty much a big waste of time. They make you show up WAY too early (5pm for a show where the doors open at 8pm? What is the point of that!?). There is a complete lack of accountability management-wise. When you go ask for your money they make up some excuse about having to pay the soundman or something. I’ve heard these lines a million times, and they never cease to put a bad taste in my mouth. Want a band tab? You got it, as long as you are willing to pay in full on your credit card because these guys aren’t cutting you a break.

Oh and one more thing. For some reason there is ALWAYS about 2 or 3 big surly bouncers at this place even on the emptiest nights. This is bad for two reasons:

  1. The fans that actually come out will have the looming fear that they are going to get their asses beat.
  2. These guys are standing around and eating up the money you made from the door.

Too many of these management trends plague clubs that had their hey-day in the early 90′s. The unfortunate thing is that instead of adjusting to a more freewheeling business model (ie: no cover, paying bands a cut of the bar) they continue to raise door prices and treat bands as entertainment cattle. Unfortunately for Fletcher’s, it looks like it’s a race to the bottom. (UPDATE: IT DEFINITELY WAS!)

Don’t Be A Dick! (Ask a friend to be a dick if needed.)

In between sets at this college party, I’m sitting at this kitchen bar waiting for the keg line to die down. We’re not getting paid for this gig, so I have my email list out. At the mere mention of someone telling me they enjoyed our set, I tell them to write down their email. At one point I just told some kid to give me his email address. He had no idea who I was or why I wanted it, he hadn’t been there for the first set. But he shrugged his shoulders and grabbed my pen.

I look across the room where two girls I’ve dubbed “The Chemical Sisters” have decided to use my PA to blare club music through their laptops and act like they’re really doing something amazing. To my chagrin this tall hippie dude, who reminds me of the lead singer of the Spin Doctors has taken my mic off its stand to scream/sing/rap into it. The volume in the mic channel is way low, so its hard to hear him, but he’s definitely in the mix. I hope he will get tired of this game but he doesn’t.

My friend Rosscoe comes over to ask me something, and I half-jokingly say “Look at this fucking guy, this shit ain’t karaoke. Rosscoe, go tell that guy to take his fucking hands off my mic.”

Excited at the mission he proclaims “Okay!” and hightails it over there.

I sit back amused as I watch Rosscoe, who is significantly shorter than Mic-Kid, dominate the situation. Mic-Kid is reluctant, but Rosscoe calmly grabs the mic from him, and with a few hand gestures somehow backs him down while gracefully placing the mic back on the stand. I was stunned that he was able to stifle Mic-Kid so easily. Rosscoe leaves and I see Mic-Kid standing there, sort of dancing. I keep expecting him to grab the mic again, but he just doesn’t.

About 20 minutes later, I wander over to the PA to tell The Chemical Sisters to turn down their laptops so we can play some goddamn music. Before I can get to them, Mic Kid approaches me “Is this your PA equipment?” I say,”Yeah.”

“Did you tell some guy to tell me not to touch the mics?”

“Yeah”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to be a dick so I got someone else to be a dick.”

“Oh. Okay man its cool. It’s you’re stuff. I just wanted to know if that kid was being a dick on his own.”

“No I told him to.”

“No problem man, sorry for fucking with the mics.”

“No problem, thanks for coming out.”

As we play our second set, I see Mic-Kid bopping up and down to our tuned-up version of Phil Collins “Another Day In Paradise.”

***

I only say this because while checking someone may be necessary at certain points in your live entertainment career it’s important to note your role as “the entertainment.” Anything you personally do to bring the energy down for an individual is branding your band negatively in that person’s eyes. This includes ignoring people at shows and paying attention to your iPhone instead.

Please note that this can be a passive gesture. Paying attention to your Blackberry instead of speaking to someone who’s wandering around your merch table can be sort of a bummer for that fan too.

Your Big Amp is Annoying: Why Our Live Setup is 75% Less Girthy Than Most Bands

So, how can you make sure your band is going to sound as good as it can in any venue?  How can you avoid feedback, have crystal-clear vocals, and sound loud and punchy without making everyone’s eardrums bleed?

Here’s the answer: Let the sound person do as much of the work as possible.  They’re out in the audience, you’re not.  They’re hearing what your fans are hearing, and believe me, everything sounds different out there than it does up on stage.  Plus, like I said, they’re paid by the venue to make you sound good.  When you limit their options (i.e., by turning up so loud that they can’t feed any of your instrument through their speakers because you’re already overpowering everything else in the mix), you’re basically not letting them do the job they’ve been trained on, and are getting paid for.  They know the venue, they know what frequencies cause feedback and which ones cancel out.  They know how loud the room can get before people start to leave and management gets pissed.  That’s their job.  Let them do their job!

There are a variety of ways to do this, but The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad takes it to the extreme. And by extreme, I mean extremely tiny.

Here’s our setup:

Guitars

Both go through little 3W practice amps.  One of them is an Esteban.  It sounds awesome.  All of the distortion and effects come from multi-effects units, not from the amp. 

“Small”We also split the signal coming out of the effects pedals to DI boxes with cab simulators.  This way the sound person can either use the DI signals, or mic the practice amps, or both.  The practice amps are mainly used as monitors, so their volume stays very low.  Sometimes we’ll ask the sound person to put some of the guitar in the floor monitors, but this is often not necessary because our overall stage volume is so low.

Drums

We use a Roland TD-6v electronic drum kit.  It takes literally 3 minutes to setup.  Pull it out of the car, unfold the arms, attach the kick pedal and cymbals, and plug it in.  Done.  The samples are great and the feel is very responsive.  If you’re a drummer and you can’t play well on this kit then you need to switch to tambourine and let a real drummer take over. 

The sound module has a ¼” output that goes into a DI box.  There is no discernable stage volume from these drums.  The sound person has complete control over how loud the drums are for the audience.  This is awesome.  Even though the sound people are usually good about putting enough drums in the monitors, we almost always split off the signal to our own little amp so we can tweak the stage volume if necessary.

Bass

Little combo amp.  Like the guitars, it’s turned up loud enough for everyone on stage to hear (which isn’t very loud, because remember, we don’t have a drum kit blasting our ears out).  DI out from the amp into the sound board.  Again, as with the drums and guitars, the sound person is completely controlling the relative volume of the instruments from the audience’s perspective. 

The net result of all of this is that every instrument can be heard clearly, both on stage and in the audience.  Our stage volume is so low that we don’t even have to wear earplugs while playing.  And the audience actually understands our vocals and laughs at all of our extremely witty lyrics.  The venue is thrilled because people are having a good time and drinking all night instead of leaving because their ears hurt, and the sound person is stunned that they were able to quickly setup a great mix without fighting feedback the entire set.

At the end of the night the venue’s management asks us to play there again, our loyal fans congratulate us for another great show, and we sell some merch to new fans who liked us better than the band they came to see.  All because (gasp!) we sounded awesome.* 

*Actual results may vary

                                                                                 ***

Your Big Amp Is Annoying is written by Ryan Graham, lead guitarist and producer for The Dirty Marmaduke Flute Squad.

In The Future: YBAIA will be a segment devoted to hacking live setups and recording gear for the best sound possible on an ultra-low budget.